As much as I love watching ‘serious’ films, it is an inevitability that I will return to the films that are just plain silly. What I’m mostly referring to is the bottomless pit of a film library that is Full Moon Features. While it may not be the ordinary Charles Band fare, Harry Tampa’s Fairy Tales is definitely a great departure from the aforementioned films of a more serious tone.
It is the Prince’s twenty-first birthday and in order to become King, he must prove to his father, the current King, that he is capable of providing a future heir to the royal throne. The only problem is that the Prince cannot perform his manly duties until he finds the Princess of his dreams, Sleeping Beauty (Linnea Quigley, The Return of the Living Dead).
I have seen a fair share of Full Moon and Charlie Band features to date, but this 1978 film that is Fairy Tales is nothing like the killer puppets or small futuristic law enforcers that I have grown accustomed to. Instead, it is a kinky, comedic take on the most famous fairy tales we all grew up learning about.
Little Bo Peep, the Not-So-Old Lady who lives in a shoe, Snow White, and Jack and Jill, among others, are all present in this sordid rendition of Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty. In fact, each and every one of them gets completely nude at one point or another. In all honesty, I can’t recall ever watching a feature film with this amount of nudity in it. Now, don’t get me wrong… I have absolutely nothing wrong with this type of thing, but I really was not expecting it at all even after reading “clothing optional” on the box art. The entire 82 minutes that Fairy Tales was running, I didn’t know whether to jot down notes for my review or to break out the hand lotion and… ahem…
All kidding aside, Fairy Tales is actually quite a comical, adults-only spin on your favorite childhood nursery rhymes. It was quite interesting seeing what the minds of director Harry Tampa, writers Frank Ray Perilli and Franne Schacht, and producer Charles Band were able to conjure up in their sick little minds. With tons of naked girls, a pimp, and a whole bunch of singing, they managed to come up with a rather fun and quirky little flick.
You are most likely never going to read about Fairy Tales in any type of historical recollection of ‘the greatest films to mold the cinema,’ but ironically enough it does contain some pretty competent acting and even though it features more boobs than I can count, it followed a rather coherent storyline. Don Sparks (television’s Mr. Robot) leads the cast of talented performers and diehard horror and genre fans will rejoice at the sight of a young Linnea Quigley, who also happens to be head-to-toe naked in this one.
Fairy Tales borders on the same type of sleaze as The Sinful Dwarf, but is nowhere near as dark-natured. If you are a fan of Charles Band’s large body of work and want to collect one more piece of Full Moon history, be sure to pick up a copy of this film. It is available now on Blu-ray from Full Moon Features.
I give this seductive little flick 3 sex-hungry dwarves out of 7… err… I mean 5.