Sorry to Scare Ya Sugar Tits

Gnome Alone Review

Gnome Alone

Years ago, I thought of Lionsgate as an authority on horror films. They released some pretty great stuff back in the day, but lately, I’ve been beyond disappointed. With awful films like Gingerclown and Speak No Evil, I’ve come to really expect the worst from the studio’s DVD-only releases. The latest horror film from their straight-to-DVD slate is entitled Gnome Alone and while I went in expecting nothing special, I was pleasantly surprised to find a cheesy, yet fun little flick.

Zoe is a college student who after a drunk driving accident leaves a poor old lady dying in the street, is unknowingly passed an age-old curse. This curse forces her to bear the mark of the beast. This ancient mark carries with it a murderous gnome who is now tied to Zoe and must do anything in his power to protect her from whatever it is that may cause her harm.

Gnome Alone is pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a film with a title like this. It is a cornball little horror film in the vein of the original Leprechaun franchise or even something out of Charles Band’s Full Moon library. The acting ranges from bad to okay, with the exception of a couple of standout performances. I was surprised to see appearances by the great Bill Oberst Jr. and even Ross Bagley who you may remember as Buckwheat from the Little Rascals film or as Will Smith’s young cousin, Nicky, from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but the best acting was certainly executed by the Erik Laude and Kerry Knuppe. Laude was pretty great as the meathead cop, Officer Kelly, and Knuppe was impressive as Zoe. She did a wonderful job of portraying the student who was thrown into some pretty strange events, only to start questioning whether she was truly losing her mind or not.

Verne Troyer as the mischievous gnome was also a pleasant surprise. While his tacky one-liners would make even Freddy Krueger or Chucky hang their heads in shame, he was still a nice little throwback to the original Warwick Davis version of the Leprechaun. The make-up for the character looked simplistic yet menacing enough to pass for a centuries old gnome. This movie won’t be winning any awards, but I can honestly say I wouldn’t mind seeing a sequel or two in the future. I think Timothy Woodward Jr. and John Michael Elfers have set the stage for a fun little franchise here.

Aside from some lackluster looking severed hands, Gnome Alone contains some pretty sweet kills and above average make-up and effects. I thought the gore looked realistic and their was enough variety in each characters’ death to help move the film along nicely. If you’re a fan of the Wishmaster series, you’ll have a great time with how things go down here, too.

If you have 94 minutes to kill one night and are in the mood for a popcorn horror flick, Gnome Alone is for you. Be sure to pick up a copy on DVD and Digital from Lionsgate on January 20.

I give this film 3 pink dildos out of 5.

One Response to Sorry to Scare Ya Sugar Tits

  1. Mathijs Pluijmen

    Superfunny title, and I need to check this out

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.