I Got a Giant Forest in My Pants

The Cemetery Review

The Cemetery movie review

I am lucky enough to live a simple life; My day-to-day goings-on are not very stressful and I can relax a lot of the time. Even still, it is nice to come home after a day of work and the gym to turn off my brain and throw on a horror flick that doesn’t require much thought. I got to do that tonight with Adam Ahlbrandt’s The Cemetery.

The Plot

A group of aspiring filmmakers and non-believing paranormal investigators set out to the Pennsylvania woods to film their latest project. They set up camp in a cemetery with a dark history. It is a place where a group of English priests tortured and murdered hundreds of men, women, and children in hopes of ridding them of the demons they believed possessed them. Now, over 200 years later, the demons are back to possess the young group and continue their reign.

My Thoughts

I’ve been meaning to watch The Cemetery for years. I see its name come up from time to time for various reasons and I never pulled the trigger on buying myself a copy until very recently. As the saying goes, “better late than never,” as I really did enjoy this movie quite a bit.

The Cemetery is my introduction to writer and director Adam Ahlbrandt. While I expected a low-budget, mediocre horror film, I was presented with so much more.

Even though this flick is credited as Ahlbrandt’s debut feature on IMDb, it is clear to see that he already had a great brain for filmmaking in 2013. The cast is made up of mediocre performers, but the special effects, cinematography, editing, and more were so impressive that I really wasn’t bothered by the acting one bit.

The Cemetery has the heart of a slasher, but the soul of a supernatural possession flick. It reminds me quite a bit of Raimi’s The Evil Dead, but it doesn’t come off as a knockoff of that franchise at all. It is its own beast and is one hell of a fun time.

The Verdict

The Cemetery is head and shoulders above most other indie slashers and possession flicks. The performances do leave much to be desired, but the practical special effects and over-the-top gore scenes are some of my favorite I’ve seen in recent years.

Adam Ahlbrandt’s 2013 movie reminds me of something I would pick-up on VHS back when video rental stores were still a thing. I don’t mean that it is an obnoxious attempt at being a “throwback.” Instead, it is a fun horror movie full of blood, boobs, and everything else that got most of us into horror movies as young impressionable kids in the first place.

I was lucky enough to hunt down and purchase the special 4-disc release of The Cemetery. At the time of writing this review, I’ve only watched the feature-length film. I am, however, extremely excited to jump into the myriad of special bonus content, as well as giving the soundtrack disc a spin or two.

I highly recommend checking this one out and give it 4 first edition factory sealed Death Stars out of 5!

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