Somebody Get This Girl a Refill

Scare Package Review

Scare Package poster

No Halloween ‘season’ or month-long marathon is complete without at least one anthology film, right? Truth be told, this isn’t actually the first one I’ve watched this month. It is, however, the first that I am discussing here with you, so without further ado, let’s discuss Scare Package.

The Plot

Chad has hired a new employee for Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium. As part of his training, Chad recounts various horrifying tales, to get his new, best employee ready for the job!

My Thoughts

Following a similar formula to most, if not all, anthology films, Scare Package presents the audience with multiple segments, all wrapped up nicely with separate framing tales. Unlike most, this one does contain more entries, totaling 8 in all, and not one or two, but three different wraparound shorts that tie things together nicely.

It is part and parcel for anthology films to have some entries that aren’t as strong as others. It’s just the nature of the format. While each piece here is entertaining in its own unique way, there are certainly a couple that I could have done without.

Scare Package contains work from eight different directors. Each short keeps with the central theme of silly self-aware horror pieces chock full of horror tropes. My favorites of the bunch are actually the opening and closing portions, titled “Cold Open” and “Horror Hypothesis,” respectively. Directors Emily Hagins and Aaron Koontz (also credited as a Producer on the film) bring us these entertaining ‘chapters,’ each full of laughs and oh so much gore!

In fact, the amount of bloodshed is what I love the most about Scare Package. For the most part, each short, whether one of the favorites I already mentioned or one of the weaker of the bunch is full of over-the-top Dead Alive levels of carnage and mayhem. Everything here is accomplished using ever-impressive practical effects with each impalement, dismemberment, stab wound, and monster transformation looking fantastic.

As I’ve mentioned, there are some segments that I feel could have been left out, namely “Girls Night Out of Body” directed by Courtney and Hillary Andujar and “So Much to Do” brought to us by Baron Vaughn. The omission of these would have certainly made Scare Package even more of a fun watch, in my eyes. Even still, I suspect that there are some of you out there that might actually enjoy those entries quite a bit.

Whether you like the same parts as me or not, there is no denying that Scare Package is a fun 108 minutes. It is self-aware, meta the whole way through, but 100% a popcorn movie. Additionally no sub-genre is left behind as slashers, werewolf flicks, monster movies, and everyone’s favorite ‘post modern feminist slasher revenge body horror’ are all represented.

Scare Package at Home

This 2019 horror anthology will be available on VOD, Digital HD, DVD, and Blu-ray on October 20 from RLJE Films. The Blu-ray features a 2:1 and 1.78:1 aspect ratio and a DTS-HD master audio 5.1 track. Optional English SDH and Spanish subtitles are available for the deaf and hard of hearing.

This new home release is also packed with bonus features that make this fun ride even more of a must-own. Included are creator commentary tracks, a bonus segment entitled “Locker Room Z,” a hilarious ad for Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium, a blooper reel, and an alternate ending.

I would suggest watching the film in the The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs format, which is available exclusively on the Blu-ray. Here, Joe Bob provides fans with his trademark tidbits like only he can, along with Drive-In Totals and a 10 minute introductory diatribe about Graceland and Elvis Presley. It does extend the film’s runtime to about 2 hours and 24 minutes, but it is definitely worth it.

The Verdict

Scare Package is much more fun than I anticipated and one I definitely recommend watching with a group of friends — all wearing masks and socially distanced of course.

The performances by Jeremy King (The Pale Door) as the horror-know-it-all VHS store owner, Rad Chad, Joe Bob himself, and Dustin Rhodes as the film’s final baddie are reason enough to check this bad boy out. Hell, after 30 years of watching Rhodes in the squared circle, I enjoyed his performance here so much that I’d love to see him as a masked antagonist in a more serious film sometime down the line.

Be sure to grab yourself a copy of Scare Package as I give this one 3 hypoallergenic goo monsters out of 5.

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