Oh, Shave My Ball Sack

All Cheerleaders Die Review

All Cheerleaders Die

I’ll never understand how much I can be fooled by a movie’s trailer! When I first heard about Lucky McKee and Chris Sivertson’s 2013 film, All Cheerleaders Die, I was intrigued and excited. The trailer made the film look like it could be a pretty fun time, but while it did have its strengths, the film overall wasn’t as good as I expected.

The film starts off with a bang — We are watching the beginning of a student-made documentary, which follows high school’s most popular cheerleader, Alexis. After a stunt goes horribly wrong, we fast forward three months and see how things have changed in the cheerleading ranks. The day before senior year starts, the jocks and cheer squad have a party that turns ugly real fast. An accident causes the entire cheer team to perish, but they are brought back to life. This is when things really get strange…

I felt like I had no idea what I was watching for about half of the film. After the cheerleaders are brought back to life by the unpopular Leena (Sianoa Smit-McPhee) and her Wiccan black magic, I didn’t know if they were zombies, witches, or vampires. They needed to feed on blood every so often, otherwise they’d get weak… that’s vampires, right? Not according to this film, it’s not. Also, what was the point of making Maddy (Caitlin Stasey) a lesbian? I’m not sure if it was just a way to try to attract young male fans to the film or if there was a deeper meaner behind it.

While I was left with a bunch of questions, I don’t want you to think the entire movie was a dud. I do think McKee and Sivertson did manage to string together some good things with All Cheerleaders Die. The little gore that was displayed throughout the film was pulled off really well and I loved how the practical effects were executed. Despite the characters being annoying (I believe that was intentional, considering they are high school cheerleaders), the actors portraying them did wonderfully. Finally, I actually really liked the end of the film. I don’t want to spoil it, but I will say this — This movie may not be my favorite, but it did just enough to make me interested in seeing a sequel, if that is indeed what McKee and Sivertson have planned. I hope they learned from their experiences on this film and make an even better one the next time around.

If you want to see a cheesy horror film with a Jennifer’s Body style script, give All Cheerleaders Die a watch. Let me know what you think of the film, in the comments below! You can pick up a copy today from RLJ/Image Entertainment.

I give this film 2 glowing Wicca stones out of 5.

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